The Windkey and the Lamplighter

I love pie. And, because my friends love me, I (technically we, but I
get to use it and Brian eats the results) got a new cookbook for a
wedding present: The Pie and Pastry Bible. This isn’t a book
review, because I’ve only read a little of it, but I like it already.

The very first thing in the book (okay, after some general discussion
about pie) is a bunch of good-looking recipes for pie crust. This is
brilliant, on the writer’s part, as pie crusts are exactly what I
wanted to find out how to do right. Any idiot* can throw things
between premade roll-out pie crusts and have a mediocre pie—I want a
tender, flaky crust. The recipe I’m making right now promises just
that, and gives half a dozen recipes, each with a dozen variations for
different purposes. I’m making a 1/3 whole wheat crust with yogurt,
since I don’t have the cider vinegar for which the main recipe calls.
Right now I’m on the second freezing, after which I will put in the
yogurt, mix it all up, and refrigerate until I’m ready to make pie.

Have I mentioned I love pie?

The book is also really neat in that it explains why the recipe
works as well as it does—not in the chemical detail of [On Food and
Cooking][], but enough that you can experiment and have an idea of
what your results will be like.

I’ll let y’all know how the pie turns out when I bake it tomorrow.

*Not that using premade crusts indicates low intelligence in any
way—there is a time and a place for them. They just aren’t what I
am looking for.

A friend gave me a page photocopied from "A Vermont Cook Book", by
Vermont Cooks (Published by Green Mountain Studios, Inc.). At least
one of the recipes bears sharing, even if it means I have to retype
it:

To Preserve a Husband

A good many husbands are spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about
it as if their husbands were balloons and blow them up. Others keep
them in hot water. Others let them freeze by indifference and
carelessness. Some keepthem in a stew by irritating ways and
words. Others roast them. Some keep them in a pickle all their lives.

It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good if
managed in this way, but they are really delicious if properly
treated.

In selecting your husband, do not go to market for him as the best are
always brought to your door.

It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to
govern him. See that the linen in which you wrap him is properly
washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings
tightly sewed on.

Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one
called duty is apt to be weak. They are apt to fall out of the kettle
and be burned and crusty on the edges, since, like crabs and lobsters
you have to cook them while alive. If he sputters and fusses do not
be anxious—some husbands do this until they are called done. Add a
little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no
vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it
must be used with judgement. Do not stick any sharp instrument into
him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently, watching the
while lest he adhere to the kettle, and so become useless. You cannot
fail to know when he is done.
If this treatment is closely followed you will find him all that is
desirable, but do not be careless with him and keep him in too cool a
place.
Lemira Heath